It is with unspeakable sadness that I must pour a 40 of Goldschlager* out on the curb, for our fallen homey, a real friend to this blog, Lloyd Bentsen. Bentsen died today at the age of 85 after a lifetime of service to his country.
Bentsen first graced these pages in June, when I misheard a rap by 50 Cent and the Game as "Call Lloyd Bentsen for some mother fuckin' crunk," and wondered if crunk was "a thing we can call up Lloyd Bentsen to get." Since then, I have received more hits for "50 Cent Lloyd Bentsen" than for anything not involving a celebrity's tits.
In his honor, I'd like to lay down a few rhymes. Please remember--I'm pretty much 95.5% white, so this will likely suck:
[Bentsen]Texas, true
Law School, Woo
Served in the Air Force in World War, Two
Ran for Senate, won
Beat 'em one-on-one
Elected four times, G-O-P was done
[Dukakis]Bentsen, it's race time
Want V-P?
[Bentsen]Here I come
Call Lloyd Bentsen, get this motherfucker, crunk
In the dee-bate, son
Lloyd Bentsen got it done
Said "you ain't no Jack K!"
And had Quayle like, "huh?"
Despite my good stunt
Bush and Quayle won
Back to the senate,
Get the people's work done.
Billy gonna run
Look at him, he won!
[Clinton]Will you be Sec. of Treash-ah**?
[Bentsen]Bill, it's my pleash-ah
Your budget meash-ah
Will pass with leish-ah
And I will need a
Medal of freedom
Yo, check this
I'm back in Texas
My nexus
Watchin' the G-O-P front on my clique
(D-Unit!)
You're a vanishing breed, Lloyd. Peace out.
*Suggested by Retro to honor Bentsen's role as Secretary of the Treasury.
**Treasure, short for Treasury, and pronounced the way Terrance and Phillip say it.
***Pleausre
****Measure
*****Leisure, British standard pronunciation (thanks to MA and MG!, who both suggested this)
9 comments:
Now that's one fabulous rap. Catch you on the flip side, Mr. Bentsen. Catch you on the flip side...
Hahahaha-- a rap that does justice to LB. Fabulous. I bet that he is the heavenly equivalent of motherfuckin' crunk right now.
That is some brilliant shit. You need to get some jib jab going on that.
He's chillin down south in the Nexus but he never ever hit the hoppers on his Lexus??
Nice tribute, when I saw the news I knew you'd send off the old senator right.
sc.
Yeah, it was disturbing that I went straight to your blog when I heard the news. However, I thought you were going to pour out some crunk juice. You might want to remind Retro that dollar went off the gold standard over 30 years ago.
I wonder if he had any idea how important he was to the popular culture of blogging in the mid-Atlantic. I think he'd be pleased.
Best line? "Law School, Woo"
MA: Yeah, it's not bad for a white girl from the suburbs. I suppose I have some skillz after all.
MG!: He's totally rollin' with 'Pac and Biggie right now.
cuff: I wish. They crack my shit up.
aua: hoppers?
scottc: after all the good times Lloyd B. has given me, I owed it to him.
claven: crunk juice?
megarita: hey. . .you try ahaping his biography into a rhyme for "World War, Two" that fits the rhythm.
wow... JB... we need to hang out again. that kicked mutha-fuckin' ass.
come out west side and let's go roll in south central.
Post a Comment