Q&A take ten, ten, ten, ten for everything, everything, everything!

So to be honest, I've been thinking about making this the last Q&A post. There've been weeks recently where the questions were fewer and further between, and not as amusing.

This week's crop, though. . . it may've changed my mind. I mean, how can I walk away from people like the reader in San Diego, CA who wants to know What does jordanbaker think I should have for lunch today? These people need me. They can't make even the simplest decisions without me.

And the answer to that one, by the way, is a Reuben sandwich with kettle chips, a pickle, and a Cherry Coke.

So I'll hold off from making a call on whether to end the series until I see what next week brings. Enjoy the (possibly?) final installment.

In Seacroft, UK, someone wonders What do English call seafood that Italians call calamari? If they’re wise, they call it “delectable.”

Someone with serious vision problems (and an allergy to capital letters) in Cambridge, MA asks does heidi not like alison because she’s too pretty? I think everyone who reads any Project Runway site has heard that rumor. . .which I have to think that Alison started herself.

Sigh. Yes, darling, an internationally famous supermodel who people call "the body" is jealous of a walking Kewpie doll with fat cheeks who talks like a mentally deficient 6 year old. Sure. (Eyeroll). And I wish my writing were more like that of the inbred semi-literates I've taught in composition classes.

Rephrasing one of last week's questions and proving once again that the English will always, always, always be more articulate than we are, an AOL user in the UK asks From which country did tea originate? Seriously—Take me. Take me now.

I can’t really answer that question, though. I would guess that several Asian countries would try to lay claim to that title, but I also know that a lot of Native cultures in the Americas drank tea like brews long before Europeans got here. Either way—I love you, you grammatically superior, tea swilling, AOL using son of a bitch.

Another AOL user, this one in the US, asks What was the answer to the question: “say kids, what time is it?” 7:45. But really, it’s Howdy Doody Time, it’s Howdy Doody Time. It’s time to start the show, so kids lets go, go, go.

A reader in Las Vegas, NV wonders mournfully Why can’t Chris Meloni be gay? Because that would make me (and his wife) very, very sad.

Brood, Chris Meloni. Brood just for me. Mmmmmm. Yes. . .

Ahem. Sorry.

In further handsome man news, someone in Sterling Heights, MI asks How old is Van Johnson? In my heart, he’ll always be 33, which is the age he was when he made In the Good Old Summertime. But in real life, he turned ninety a week ago today. Happy Belated Birthday, Van Johnson! I hope the old ladies wherever you live appreciate the mad sexy nonagenarian in their midst.

(By the way—did you know that his trademark is that he always wears red socks? Hawt!)

(What, no questions about Bradley Cooper, Wentworth Miller, Robson Green, or Hugh Laurie? I'm more than willing to try and answer those too, just for the sake of posting pictures. . .)

Finally, in Beijing, China (no shit!) someone gnomically asks Who did start to know the sun is in the east? Trust your intuition, Beijing. The Universe is guiding your life. Your lucky numbers are 7, 18, 20, 31, 32, and 44.

Happy long weekend, everyone. Here's hoping the weather doesn't ruin all of our vacation plans.