C is for Cookie, year 3: a Photo MYSTERY

Since 90% of everyone in the world is going to have at least one, and possibly all three (lucky fucking bastards) of the next three days off, I thought I'd give you a little project to have fun with while you're away.

As those of you who've been around these parts for awhile know, my frequent reader in Crawfordsville, IN, has thrown a cookie decorating party every year since we were five. Having had 20-odd (sometimes very odd) years in which to hone our skills, we've naturally progressed beyond simple cookie ideas like "Santa Claus!" and "overdecorated snowflake!" We had a phase where we specialized in things like "grey alien Santa Claus!" and "dangerously overdecorated snowflake!"

We're now in a third period, which I like to consider the acme of our skillz, where the cookies tend to be more representational. You can look here to see Santa in Speedos or the leather clad Cookie Gimp from 2006, or here to see 2007 in Cookie Pop Culture (Britney at the VMAs; New York from I Love New York; Mike O'Connell and Dr. Ken from "What's It Gonna Be?")

And I'm not the only one who does this. The last time I was unable to attend (2005), I received a care package of cookies in the mail that included a Napoleon Dynamite cookie in an immaculately rendered "Vote for Pedro" t-shirt.

This year, though, I'm having some problems determining what the cookies are meant to represent. This is partly because all of their heads came off in transit, and I had to reassemble them like I was some sort of Cookie Crime Scene Investigator (sadly, with no Cookie Nick Stokes to help me analyze my findings). And it's also because. . .ok, sometimes you had to be at the party to get the vibe of the party and understand where peoples' heads are going.

So right now, I'm in the same position my parents were 20-odd (very odd) years ago. I have a tupperware of cookies that are CLEARLY decorated with care and love, and all I can say is "what a nice.. . . .lady?"

And that's why I need your help, interwebs. I need you to be my Cookie CSI team and help me understand the evidence I've assembled. Please help me figure out what these cookies are meant to be.

I will say off the bat: there's a right answer for one of these, and I already know what it is*. The others. . . . .we'll go with the most plausible or creative answer. The winners, as decided by a totally impartial and logical manner (to be determined) will receive some sort of baked good that doesn't have to be interpreted. Or, if you prefer, one winner can have an Eddie Murray Bobblehead that I'm kind of sick of. Boo, Orioles.

So first, we have Exhibit A:

It looks like Santa, right? But it's Santa in a blue suit with red trim and the letter "M" monogrammed on his coat. So who is it?

Exhibit B:
Technically, this is two cookies, but they got pretty well fused together in transit--the green dude's left arm is fused to the lady's back, and the lady's head is stuck to the green dude's chest in such a way that I can't remove it without damaging his structural integrity.

I'll accept an explanation for the two of them together or for either one separately.

I should add that what I thought was the pink lady's arm (Exhibit B) was actually the rear legs of this guy, Exhibit C:
It's a reindeer--no red nose, so not Rudolph--and he has a "No S" sign on his chest. Until I get a better explanation, I'm calling him "No Scrubs Reindeer." Hangin' out the passenger side of Santa's ride, tryin' to holla at me. . ..

Urm.. . .moving on.

Ok, Exhibit D is the one I have a real answer for:
So here we have a lovely young lady in a sparkly blue top and a blue matte skirt. Her top reads "I (heart) BLA_" and the rest is rendered indecipherable by the generous black ringlets hanging over it.

I'll even give you two clues. First, this is a person who's been written about on this blog in the past year.

Second, this was found adjacent to the cookie:
No, it's not a poo. It's a huge coil of black icing. It tasted nasty.

(Yes, I ate it. Which means the real mystery is: how have I lived my whole life putting anything with a vague resemblance to sugar in my mouth without ever getting a cavity?)

The management will accept answers until midnight Sunday. Bonne chance, mes petites! See you in 2009.

UPDATE: Lemmonex wins for Exhibit D--it is, in fact, Amy Winehouse in an "I (heart) Blake [Incarcerated]" shirt. The poo coil is part of her beehive which fell off in transit.

* And if you saw the answer on facebook, you're disqualified from playing on that one.