No time for losers; they are the champions. . . .

. . . of cookies. . . .

After what was apparently an excruciatingly long wait for some people, I am pleased to announce the winners of our Cookie Photo Mystery. Remember, there was only one cookie for which I knew the "real" answer. The winner(s) in the other categories were determined by a totally rational and not at all arbitrary process, the details of which I'm not at liberty to disclose.

The prize for the "real" answer goes to lemmonex, who put together the clues of big hair and an "I heart BLA---" t-shirt to deduce that Cookie Exhibit D was Amy Winehouse.

Now for the more subjective categories. You can review the photographic evidence below.

I described exhibit A as " Santa in a blue suit with red trim and the letter "M" monogrammed on his coat." I am thoroughly convinced by erstwhile lurker cindo that this is, in fact "john mccain santa. note his patriotic red, white, and blue attire as well as the fact that he can't raise his arms above his head..."

For exhibit C, I still don't find any explanation more persuasive than my initial belief that it was "No Scrubs" reindeer, the reindeer who don't want to meet you nowhere and don't want none of your time. A close second, though, is Rachel's explanation that it is not a reindeer, but "a wild Alaskan moose, fearfully running from a 'copter flying, gun toting Sarah Palin, who might kill it for Christmas dinner." So I'll declare her the winner, because declaring myself the winner would be kind of cheap.

Finally, on exhibit B, we have a tie. You'll recall that exhibit B consisted of a shiny green dude who'd been fused to a blonde lady in a pink dress in such a manner that it looked like he was about to chow down on her head. I felt most persuaded by m.a.'s theory that it might be "a Sarah Jessica Parker cookie in honor of the Sex and the City Movie," because it's timely and because there were flower sprinkles at the bottome of the tupperware that might have come unfixed from her dress.

At the same time, I really enjoyed mysterygirl!'s idea that it was "Gwyneth Paltrow when she won the Oscar in that poorly-fitting pink dress," mostly because I too often find myself wishing that "a big green monster would try to nom on her..."

So there you have it. As promised, the winners are all elligible for either a baked good that doesn't require interpretation, or an Eddie Murray bobblehead I've gotten kind of sick of. You can hit me by e-mail sometime this week (rottendriver at gmail dot com, as the douchebags who spell out their e-mails might say) to let me know which you'd prefer, and whether you're allergic to anything that might go into a baked good (or the dust covering an Eddie Murray bobblehead).

Only one Eddie Murray bobblehead is available, so the first one to claim him gets him. As for the baked goods, I can promise they'll be even more delectable than usual--lookie what I bought with some of my Christmas moolah:

No, not the Black&Decker $5 toaster. Nor the secondhand Foreman Grill. Nor the pepper shaker, vase, or various bottles of oils, vinegar, and molasses. The pretty green thing. See it? In the foreground?

Yep. I bit the bullet and bought myself a KitchenAid Mixer. I've been putting it off for years now, insisting that if I bought one while I was single, what would people buy me to prove their love if and when I got married? But then I figured I'm almost 32. I cook a lot. And it comes in such pretty colors. . .

Plus, this way if I get married I can register for sheets and stuff, and force everyone to think about me and my husband having awkward, well-mannered sex on them.