Introducing a new holiday

So. Halloween.

In theory, I like Halloween. I like the idea of dressing up. I like the idea of getting to put on another identity. I even like coming up with costume plans.

But in reality. . .I never end up going through with it. It's so much effort. And I am lazy.

How lazy, you ask? So lazy that I have fallen back on my Julie-Newmar-As-Catwoman costume several times in the course of the last decade. Which is fine -- it's a good costume, and it gives you a nice impetus to work out if you know that once a year, there's a solid chance you're going to have to appear in public in a black lycra body suit and cat ears.

But this year, I have to go to a party thrown by friends who've already seen the Julie-Newmar-as-Catwoman costume. Some of them more than once. So I feel like I should come up with something else.

Only. . .I'm lazy. I am so lazy that I have decided to rename the holiday. . .LAZYWEEN.

Which totally sounds like some sort of bad erectile condition. But I digress.

The whole point of Lazyween is that instead of going all out and planning an intricate costume that will require me to find several different elements at different shops, and possibly hem things or rush around last minute to find a must-have accessory (do you KNOW how hard it was to find a wide gold belt two days before Halloween in 2001? It was HARD), we are going to plan a costume that meets both of the following criteria:

1. A brunette, female, pop culture figure, who
2. Wears outfits that can be comprised at least 80% of elements I already have in my wardrobe.

Minimal effort, people. It's all about minimal effort.

So the first option, naturally is Liz Lemon from 30 Rock. Very easy costume.

The hair is just my normal hair, but not blown-dry so I get the natural haphazzard waves going on. Then I wear my glasses, a blazer, some sort of scoopnecked top, jeans, and tennies.

If I get really ambitious, I mock up a bag of chips to look like Sabor de Soledad, or whip up a plate of Cheezy Blasters.

Advantages: Super Easy. Also, wearing my glasses means I don't have to worry about getting my contacts out if I come home drunk.

Disadvantages: People might not realize I'm wearing a costume.

Option Two: Trudy Campbell from Mad Men.

This is appealing because it gives me some options. I can wear one of my vintage cocktail dresses and be Trudy at a party. I can wear one of my vintage shirtwaist dresses and be Trudy at home. I can stick a pillow under my dress, and be pregnant Trudy from Season 4.

Advantages: Super Easy; have excellent selection of vintage clothes on hand.

Disadvantages: As awesome as Trudy is, she's probably not one of the characters who springs first to mind for a lot of people, so I'd spend a lot of time clarifying every time someone said, "oh, you're that one girl from Mad Men, right?" This is especially true if I can't con someone into being Pete, and who would ever want to be Pete? Also, I actually wear vintage clothes a fair bit, so. . .people might not realize I'm wearing a costume.

On a related note, option #3: Annie from Community.

Like Liz Lemon, this is a pretty easy costume. In this case, I straighten my hair and pull the front part back like I did my junior year in High School. And then I wear a sweater and skirt, and carry a backpack.

Advantage: Super Easy.

Disadvantages: no one would know I was wearing a costume. At all.

Really, the key would be to find some way to combine the Trudy costume and the Annie costume, and just go as Alison Brie.

Option 4 is I go as Margene from Big Love. Ginnifer Goodwin has recently topped Katie Holmes as the celebrity I get told I look like -- which strikes me as weird, since they both dated Chris Klein. Apparently I look like someone who would date Chris Klein -- so it seems natural to exploit that and go as one of her characters.

So all I'd really need are some sort of floral print dress, a cardigan, and a sense of earnestness.

Advantages: Super Easy.

Disadvantages: I don't know where one finds a sense of earnestness. Also, I pretty much hate Margene. Also, no one would know I was wearing a costume.

Finally, we come to the one you all probably expected from the get go. Option #5 is I go as Sad Katie Holmes.

(The number of results you get from a google image search for Sad Katie Holmes? Kind of amazing).

So I would just need to wear some kind of vaguely depressed looking clothes, plus giant sunglasses, and carry every bag I own. And then I'd need to find a small brunette child somewhere.

Advantages: Super Easy.

Disadvantages: I don't have any access to any small brunette children.

I am, naturally, open to other suggestions. Or if you can think of something to do with the black bodysuit that's not "Julie-Newmar-as-Catwoman," that'd be good to.

And don't say "Lee-Meriweather-as-Catwoman." I've tried that. I can't pull it off, somehow.